Tying The Knot Thing.

           In this month, the next month or so, 3 of my closest friends are getting married. While they're entering a blissful new stage in life, while I am, well, staying exactly where I am. Sure I'm totally happy for them, but the situation still triggers some toxic thoughts -envy, self-doubt, and fears about whether you'll ever find the right guy as well. : ( Sometimes I feel like an asshole if they ever ask me these kind of question, "Do you have a boyfriend?", "Have you met anyone?".

          Yes, I'm twenty six years old. And no, I DO NOT have a boyfriend. Which means most likely, I'm not getting married anytime in the near distant future! Having a long chat with bestie yesterday urged me to write this. So she wants me to get a husband too, soon. I mean very soon. She virtually imaged me how it would look like having to have someone that loves you as much as you do and it's HALAL, - like holding hands without having guilt etc etc! No need further explanation, right? And now I'm anxious enough on finding one, thanks lalves, hahaha anyway I'm blessed having you. But the fact that guys are very visual, encourages me to work even harder. If the girl is physically attractive, a good personality is just icing on the cake, yes? With that said there is no reason any sane physically healthy attractive women can't get a boyfriend or husband!!!! (Pftttt) Pretty sure I am not the only one who feels weird about this, yes?

          26, pretty much the "marrying age" for a lot of people. And I know as I age, people I know who are stable will probably settling down. You know ever since I was 18, it was my plan to get engaged by the time I was 24 and married by 26, kids by the time I was 28-30. Well on my becoming 26th birthday this year I am still single. And I can tell you I'm not going to be engaged or married by this year too, cause ever in life, I never have a real boyfriend. I know it's stupid and it's all part of living with anxiety .... I guess.

          Marriage is too big, a deal for someone to rush into it haphazardly. I seriously question whether this is a matter of their being more grown-up (part of growing up is watching your friend's lives change -finishing education, getting jobs, dating, marrying and starting a family) than me, or whether I’m complacent in just being perpetually single as the old woman who will literally live in her shoes. (And damn nice ones, might I add, hehe! ) But that doesn't mean that everyone has to do every one of those in lockstep.

          Frankly, there are a few other adventures/commitments I want to have before I start on the "Big One". When you are a couple there are things that you don't do, perhaps because the other person doesn't like it or not, but you still don't do them. And then you miss some very important life experiences. Besides, life is too short to waste it moping for something that you don't have. Either way, it's most important to do what's right for you.

          At last, I do think it's just a factor of when you meet the right person. Some people meet them very young. And some meet them later in life. There's nothing wrong with either one. But just make sure they are "The One" and not "The Next One". So, while most of my friends are getting married, I’ll be getting AWESOME. Smile. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. ;D