Be amazed. Shine bright like a diamond!

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. 

- T.S. Eliot

This year 2013, I resolve to :

1. Blog regularly. (Went through all my old posts and I have like a million drafts, whats with that hey?)
2. Go to sleep early. And wake up early. 
3. Make more money.
4. Don't be ruled by money.
5. Buy less, buy better.
6. No more bitter just sweeter.
7. Lose weight. Again.
8. Fall in love.
9. Sort out junk in life shed.
10. Whatever that rocks my boat!

A few hours more to 2013. New year. New journey. New as I am, always. :)

Tying The Knot Thing.

           In this month, the next month or so, 3 of my closest friends are getting married. While they're entering a blissful new stage in life, while I am, well, staying exactly where I am. Sure I'm totally happy for them, but the situation still triggers some toxic thoughts -envy, self-doubt, and fears about whether you'll ever find the right guy as well. : ( Sometimes I feel like an asshole if they ever ask me these kind of question, "Do you have a boyfriend?", "Have you met anyone?".

          Yes, I'm twenty six years old. And no, I DO NOT have a boyfriend. Which means most likely, I'm not getting married anytime in the near distant future! Having a long chat with bestie yesterday urged me to write this. So she wants me to get a husband too, soon. I mean very soon. She virtually imaged me how it would look like having to have someone that loves you as much as you do and it's HALAL, - like holding hands without having guilt etc etc! No need further explanation, right? And now I'm anxious enough on finding one, thanks lalves, hahaha anyway I'm blessed having you. But the fact that guys are very visual, encourages me to work even harder. If the girl is physically attractive, a good personality is just icing on the cake, yes? With that said there is no reason any sane physically healthy attractive women can't get a boyfriend or husband!!!! (Pftttt) Pretty sure I am not the only one who feels weird about this, yes?

          26, pretty much the "marrying age" for a lot of people. And I know as I age, people I know who are stable will probably settling down. You know ever since I was 18, it was my plan to get engaged by the time I was 24 and married by 26, kids by the time I was 28-30. Well on my becoming 26th birthday this year I am still single. And I can tell you I'm not going to be engaged or married by this year too, cause ever in life, I never have a real boyfriend. I know it's stupid and it's all part of living with anxiety .... I guess.

          Marriage is too big, a deal for someone to rush into it haphazardly. I seriously question whether this is a matter of their being more grown-up (part of growing up is watching your friend's lives change -finishing education, getting jobs, dating, marrying and starting a family) than me, or whether I’m complacent in just being perpetually single as the old woman who will literally live in her shoes. (And damn nice ones, might I add, hehe! ) But that doesn't mean that everyone has to do every one of those in lockstep.

          Frankly, there are a few other adventures/commitments I want to have before I start on the "Big One". When you are a couple there are things that you don't do, perhaps because the other person doesn't like it or not, but you still don't do them. And then you miss some very important life experiences. Besides, life is too short to waste it moping for something that you don't have. Either way, it's most important to do what's right for you.

          At last, I do think it's just a factor of when you meet the right person. Some people meet them very young. And some meet them later in life. There's nothing wrong with either one. But just make sure they are "The One" and not "The Next One". So, while most of my friends are getting married, I’ll be getting AWESOME. Smile. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. ;D

Oh Idiocy

I have lived for 25 years now and trust me, I've met all kinds of people.

From the most geeky one to someone who seems to be suffering from a bipolar disorder. Interesting? Tell me about it. I'd love to share this funny story about this bipolar guy/girl that I know but I'd rather not because telling everyone about his/her bad side won't make me any better.

All I can say is that, people taking advantage on you is a normal thing and it happens to everyone, but when people who have done shit/s and still taking advantage on you, that is bringing idiocy to another level.

Imagine if you have done something wrong to someone and you have never for once feel sorry for what you have done. You don't have the courtesy to even apologize to that person first and one day when you desperately need some help from people, you run back to that person to ask for one. To which level of stupidity/absurdity/feeble-mindedness/idiocy have you just degraded yourself to?

I'm not the type of person who holds grudges, I'm far from being someone who takes petty problems as setbacks in life but when one treats me like I'm an idiot, that ticks me off.

The Right Time?

How to if not tell, show to someone that you have a feeling for them?
Even though you know chances of that person to like you back are close to none. Without jeopardizing the friendship you have with that person. Is the risk worth taking? When is the right time to do so; avoiding it from being too soon or too late. I often ask these questions to myself. It's easy for me to like someone but liking isn't enough to bring them out of the friend zone. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to start dating at the moment. I've come across this phrase before " To move on from someone is to get it on with someone new ", true enough but how can one be sure getting on with someone new is not a form of rebound? When is the right time to move on? Not everyone has the same dwelling period if I must say. So how to be sure if that person has moved on for good? Is he or she still clinging to their past? Being in a rebound relationship, being the 'victim' of one sure is suck. The reason why I'm writing all this is because I think I may have started liking someone who's halfway across the world. Who I only met online but we've been talking everyday since i can't remember. The more I talk to him, the more I find him interesting.